Tips on How to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce

The decision to divorce is not always easy. Divorce can be a difficult subject to discuss. Although you and your spouse are both likely aware of the many problems in your marriage, it can be challenging to bring up the subject of ending your marriage. Certainly, discussing divorce can be one of the most terrifying things you may think about. However, there are some ways to prepare for the discussion and tips for how to tell your spouse you want a divorce. 

Prepare for the Discussion

Take some time to think about what you want to say. You may want to make some notes to help guide you through the conversation. Try to be calm when you approach the subject. You want to be open and honest with your spouse. Give your spouse the reasons you want the divorce, but do not make promises to try to work things out if that is not your plan. Allow time to listen to your spouse and recognize that he or she may not be ready to talk about it yet. 

Choose the Best Time

You will want to choose the best time and place to talk about divorce. You will not want to start this type of talk late in the evening or after you both are tired. You also don’t want to blurt it out during an argument. Find a time when you can both be present without any distractions. Make sure the children are not home. You do not want to involve them in the conversation, and you do not want them to overhear you talking. 

Avoid an Argument

Remember that your spouse may be upset or angry when you tell them you want to end your marriage. Now is not the time to argue. Anticipate how your spouse will react and take steps to make the situation as calm and easy as possible. Let your spouse know that you have made a decision and you are ready to separate. If your spouse tries to escalate, let your spouse talk, but do not fight about things. In Illinois, you can obtain a no-fault divorce which places no blame on either party. 

Set a Time to Talk Again

You and your spouse may both need to have some time alone to think about things after the discussion. Try not to end the talk with anger. You may already know how you want to move ahead, but it is something you and your spouse should talk about. For example, which one of you will stay in the home and how you will handle child custody are some of the important decisions that you will need to make together. These are issues you can talk about during a later conversation. Allow yourselves a day or more to think about things before you talk about them again. 

Agree to Some Basics

It is helpful for you and your spouse to agree to a few basic things. Make sure that you both agree not to make any changes to your finances. This includes withdrawing money from joint accounts or making any large purchases. This will ensure that you both are able to divide your assets and property in an equitable manner. Keep in mind that Illinois requires equitable distribution of marital property in a divorce. 

If you are ready to begin the divorce process, we are here to help. Let us guide you through the process and answer your questions. Contact us at Women’s Divorce & Family Law Group at (312) 445-8830 to talk to our compassionate Illinois divorce attorneys.