Post Divorce: How to Live with Your Ex-Spouse

Living with your ex during or after a divorce can be tricky and complicated. For many people, this type of living arrangement might seem impossible. Yet, for others, there are various reasons that a continued shared residence makes sense. According to an article in Psychology Today, continuing to share a residence makes the most sense financially. In other circumstances, the parties might believe that living together is best for their minor children. How can you live with your ex during and after a divorce? Consider some of the following tips from our Illinois divorce attorneys.

Create Separate Budgets and Treat One Another Like Roommates

It will be critical to create entirely separate budgets and to treat one another like roommates. You should not have any shared accounts, and you should not work together on any budgets. Accordingly, you should not agree to cover your ex-spouse for dinner, for example, or to share groceries. Keep everything that is financial in nature entirely separate.

Set Up Separate Living Spaces

You should set up separate living spaces. Each ex-spouse should have their own bedroom and, if possible, their own living space. It can also be helpful to separate cupboard space in the kitchen and to set up separate shelves in the refrigerator. 

Limit Time Spent Together

In the spirit of setting up separate living spaces and living your own life after a divorce, it will be important to limit the time you spend with your ex. If you share children with your ex, you should limit any discussions or time spent together to speaking about issues concerning your kids. Otherwise, do your best to begin setting up your own separate life.

Establish Rules for Other Relationships

You will need to establish rules with your ex for having relationships with other people, including when and how other parties — including even friends or family members — will visit the house. It is often useful to establish the rule that you will both avoid bringing dates home and will develop any intimate relationships outside your shared residence.

Inform Your Kids of the Arrangement

Let your kids know about the arrangement so that they will not be confused about what is happening during and after your divorce.

Think About Your Own Mental Health

Living with an ex-spouse can be extremely complicated, and it is important to think about your own mental health and your psychological needs while you are also focused on being the best parent for your children. Consider mindfulness practices, and have a therapist you trust to discuss any issues that arise and methods for resolving them.

Contact a Divorce Lawyer in Illinois

If you need assistance with your divorce case or if you need help handling certain legal issues pertaining to your current family situation, one of our experienced Chicago divorce lawyers can speak with you today. We know how complicated divorces can be, and we recognize that there are a variety of reasons that ex-spouses might continue to reside in the same household during and after a divorce. Our firm can discuss your circumstances with you and provide you with the assistance you need. Contact Women’s Divorce & Family Law Group for more information.