You’ve decided to get a divorce. You’ve gone through all the difficult steps that the divorce process entails. You and your spouse have agreed on spousal support and property division. You even have one of the most difficult parts of a divorce settled: the child custody agreement. So now that you’re divorce is final and you are ready to start living your life as a single person and as a single parent, a big question still remains. How do you create a positive co-parenting environment with your former spouse? This can be a difficult proposition, but for your children’s sake, this is the best goal to have.
Even though you might still have angry or hurt feelings towards your ex, you should do everything you can to put those in the background and focus on being positive in order to create the best post-divorce environment for your children. In fact, being negative towards your ex can impact custody and even give the other side ammunition to use against you in court. Generally, both parents have an obligation to promote a healthy relationship between their child or children and their ex. So what kinds of things can you do in order to achieve this goal? Every situation is different and there are many different answers to this question, but in general, there are some universal answers that apply to just about every case.
The first thing to remember is to be there for your children. This is true when you are married, and it doesn’t change when you divorce. In fact, given the difficulties that kids can have with divorce, it’s even more important that you are there for them both physically and emotionally after divorce. Meanwhile, some parents try to avoid the subject of divorce with their kids. However, in order to create a better co-parenting environment it is best to be honest and up front with your kids to the extent possible. Often, you cannot talk about court and these are adult issues that should not be discussed with children. Most of all, make sure the children know that you and your spouse both still love them. If possible, and your children are old enough, you and your spouse should attempt to speak with them together about any important life issues, including your divorce.
Another critical part of any successful co-parenting environment is to avoid speaking negatively about your ex, particularly in front of your children. You should speak positively of their role as a parent and help make parenting time with both parties rewarding for your children. Open and honest communication between you and your former spouse will also greatly contribute to a healthy co-parenting environment for both you and your children. Both parents should stay actively involved in their children’s lives, including their education and activities. By working together and putting the best interest of your children first, you can create a happy and healthy co-parenting environment. Note, there are very good Apps (Yes, there’s an “App” for that too) to help facilitate better communication between you and your ex. Talk to your attorney about any questions regarding communication or information about the app.
If you are going through divorce in Chicago and need help with any aspect of child custody, child support or a co-parenting agreement, then you should contact the Women’s Divorce & Family Law Group. We know how to help spouses prepare to have successful co-parenting roles after divorce. Call us at 312-445-8830. You can also connect with us online by clicking here.
This should only be considered as general information and is not intended to be legal advice. Contacting an attorney is always a good idea in these kinds of cases. An Attorney can help you decide what is best for you in your particular case and circumstances.
There are many factors to consider when contemplating divorce, and a pre-divorce planning session can help you begin to plan for a divorce. Please contact the professionals at the Women’s Divorce & Family Law Group by calling (312) 585-6604 or clicking here to schedule a consultation.